I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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