HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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