i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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