I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
40s are totally the cure
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
