God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just cropdusted the office
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
