i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
