The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Four minutes until I can fart!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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