I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
