Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
