wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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