I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
worst night to have a conscience
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
