Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
