new low.... made out with someone while peeing
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
