Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
