she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
