Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I need moral support for this bender
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
