I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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