shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
how drunk are you?
Several
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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