I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
