This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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