This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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