I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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