We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
