i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
