What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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