So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
