my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
