Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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