I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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