In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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