What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
