Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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