HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
