How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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