I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
