i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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