we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
