Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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