At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
