It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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