How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
