Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
