i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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