Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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