Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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