Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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