It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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