im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
