Just cropdusted the office
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
