There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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