it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
