U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
