party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
