exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Mom said you looked used
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize
