We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
