I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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