yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
