Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
How does one acquire holy water?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
