i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
