Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
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I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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