how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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