Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
